Back to the Future of this Wonderful World!
by Firelord67
Summary: Two-Parter. Kizui Satou, Kazuma's daughter, accidentally finds herself in the past with the current cast of Konosuba. How will Kazuma react to seeing his daughter as an extraordinarily powerful wizard? Will she make it back? Who the heck did he sleep with? And what other bizarre things have happened in the future? Find out!
1. Part 1: Power and Destruction

**I always wondered what would happen if Kazuma and Megumin had a daughter. Then I thought, what if the child of two terrible Adventurers ended up being super-powerful! Thus, I created Kizui (Ki-zoo-ee). I hope you enjoy what I did.**

"I'm your what!?" said Kazuma, as the girl struggled against her rope restraints.

"My dad," the girl said. "Now, I understand that I probably shouldn't have entered the house without permission, and you guys probably haven't ever met or seen me before, me being from the future and all, but this seems a little excessive!"

She was fairly young, around thirteen, only slightly shorter than Megumin. She had the unmistakable pale skin, brown hair, and red eyes of a Crimson Demon. She wore an outfit that resembled an old-fashioned magician's costume, except red with orange highlights. Her hat had a stitched face on it.

Megumin, who was currently holding her wand with a charged Explosion at the girl's face, gasped.

"Kazuma! Were you cheating on me in the future?"

She immediately switched her target from the girl to a petrified Kazuma.

"What? No! I did nothing of the sort. And besides, that doesn't make any sense! And there's no way she could be related to me, she's a Crimson Demon!"

"Oh yeah, that," the girl giggled. "You know, I could easily get out of these ropes,"

"I figured as much," said Kazuma. "That's what Megumin is for,"

"I could probably handle that Explosion, too," the girl suggestively grinned.

"I don't like the way you phrased that,"

"Okay, fine!" the girl groaned. "What do I have to do to prove that I'm your daughter?"

"Hm..." Kazuma scratched his chin. "You said you're related to me right? Tell me something that Future Me told you about me,"

"Your favorite color of underwear is black," the girl said without hesitation.

"H-hey!"

"Is that true?" Megumin raised an eyebrow.

"Well..." Kazuma blushed.

The girl rolled her eyes.

"Fine, I'll drop the bomb,"

She closed her eyes.

"Darkness, blacker than black. Combine with my deep crimson..."

"W-what?" Megumin's eyes widened. She immediately pointed her charged wand at her. "Don't you dare cast that spell!"

"I wasn't going to..." The girl giggled. "Fire spin!"

In a burst of flames, the girl broke free from the ropes like they were made of paper.

"GAH!" Kazuma and Megumin shrieked.

The girl simply stretched her limbs out, as if she had just gotten out of bed.

"Ah, that's better,"

"E-E-Explosion!" Megumin quickly fired her shot.

"Shadow Mana Absorb!" the firey energy halted around the girl and turned into glowing blue magic. The girl stretched as the magic flowed into her body.

"WHAT?!" Megumin gasped. "B-b-but nobody can block Explosion Magic! It's not possible!"

The girl simply gave her a smug look.

"My name is Kizui Satou. The greatest arch-wizard to ever live. Master of four types of magic: elemental, demon, illusion, and manipulation! Now, do you believe me?"

"No," said Kazuma. "First of all, there's no way someone that good is related to me. Second, who the heck stayed with me long enough to have you?"

"You guys aren't together?" Kizui indicated to him and Megumin.

Kazuma's eyes widened as the image suddenly became clear.

"OH MY GOSH!" Kazuma passed out on the spot.

Kizui blinked.

"Did I overdo that?" she said.

Megumin's jaw dropped.

"I'm sorry, I just thought it would make more sense if I showed him how good my magic was and..."

"_I _raised you?" said Megumin.

"Yeah, why?" said Kizui.

"Nothing..." Megumin looked at Kizui's outfit. "You really practice four kinds of magic?"

"Yeah, having more spells increases my effectiveness, and exponentially enhances my possible options at a given time. Also, I hate being carried back to the house after I run out of mana,"

_A little bit later..._

"So..." Aqua said as the five of them sat down on the couch. "Kazuma and Megumin somehow got married and had a daughter, and that daughter accidentally cast a temporal spell that sent her back into this time before she was born?"

"Basically..." Kazuma rubbed his temples. "I'm still trying to wrap my head around this..."

"Alright, Kizui," said Aqua.

"Yes, I'm Kizui,"

"Sending back to your own time is simple. You just need to cast the exact same spell again, and I'll simply point you in the right direction so you don't end up in some other time period,"

"That's great!" Kizui sighed out of relief. "Although... the spell is like a hundred words long, so I couldn't memorize it. Luckily, I know where to find it!"

"Well, that's good," Kazuma got up. "It's been a while since I've tackled an easy quest,"

"It belongs to Auntie Wiz. You know, the Lich Queen"

"THE LICH QUEEN?!" exclaimed Darkness, Megumin, and Aqua simultaneously.

"Who?" said Kazuma.

"The queen of the liches!"

"The most powerful necromancer in the world!"

"I once heard she kidnapped men and women and did despicable things to them in her dungeon!"

"Huh? Auntie Wiz never did that,"

"Wiz?" Kazuma raised an eyebrow. "Wait, Wiz becomes the queen of the liches in the future?"

"That hasn't happened yet?"

"Okay, let's stop talking about future events!" Kazuma quickly said. "In anime like this, it always ends up creating weird paradoxes and messes up the future!"

"Alright!" Darkness drew her sword. "Let's embark!"

_A bit of traveling later..._

The five adventurers traveled throughout an open field.

"So, Kizui," said Kazuma. "I still don't understand... how you exist, but why'd you choose wizard of all things?"

"Well, I actually chose Adventurer. It was the only way to get all these spells," Kizui pulled out her Adventure Card and showed it to the others.

"I don't believe it!" Megumin's jaw dropped. "I've never seen anyone have so many skills before! Even for a Crimson Demon!"

"Is that Shadow magic?" said Aqua. "I didn't know there were Adventurer spells for that?"

"Oh yeah, Auntie Wiz taught me those,"

"Actually, I'd appreciate it if you didn't call her "Auntie." You might freak her out,"

"Okay. Oh look, a giant toad," Kizui monotonously stared at a large amphibian in the distance.

"EEEEEEEEEEEK!" Megumin and Aqua simultaneously shrieked.

"Eh? What's that about?" said Kizui. "Those are super-weak,"

"My future self must have misinformed you!" said Megumin. "They are the vilest, disgusting, slimy, smelly, unsympathetic creatures to roam this land!"

"No, they're not," Kizui casually held up a hand facing the toad. "Ice Spear,"

A pointed shard of ice appeared above her and launched at the toad. The ice struck the slimy body, immediately freezing the toad into an ice structure.

"Star Blaze Pistol," Kizui flicked a yellow sphere of magic at the ice toad, proceeding to shatter the creature into fragments. "See? Easy,"

Aqua and Megumin's jaws dropped.

"Was I just outdone... by a 13-year-old?" Aqua stammered.

"14!" said Kizui.

"Huh, it looks like you inherited your mother's growth rate," Kazuma blankly stated.

"Hey!" Megumin and Kizui said at the same time.

"Still, that was some pretty cool magic,"

"Please, that was barely 2% of my power," said Kizui. "I've defeated way stronger monsters than that,"

"You know, that really says something about us as Adventurers," said Kazuma.


	2. Part 2: Grace and Beauty

"...And the combination of the Frostbolt's Freeze condition amplifies the Heat damage from Cursed Star Striker, which is how I beat the frog so easily while also maintaining my mana curve," Kizui finished her extremely long rant about her spell combo.

_She's a meta gamer? Why am I not surprised? Also, how come I never thought of that. Or did I?_

"So... you learned Shadow Magic?" said Aqua. "I didn't know normal Adventurers could learn that,"

"Well... that's not to say it's without drawbacks," Kizui fidgeted. "It turns out prolonged exposure to intermediate dark magic makes one divine intolerant,"

"What does that mean?" said Darkness.

"Oh! It means this!" Aqua licked her finger and pressed it against Kizui's neck, causing the skin to turn red.

"AAAAAAAAAGH!" Kizui fell to the ground and started rolling about like she was on fire. "OW! OW! OW! OW!"

"Kizui!" said Megumin.

"Where have I seen that before?" said Darkness.

_A season or so ago..._

"Sacred Turn Undead!" Aqua cast the spell, creating a large magic circle around Beldia.

"AAAAAAAAAGH!" Beldia screamed fell and started rolling about like he was on fire. "OW! OW! OW! OW!"

_In the present._

Kizui panted as she rubbed Aqua's spit off her neck.

"Oh gosh... I think it's over," she breathed a sigh of relief.

"You spit holy water?" said Kazuma.

"Well, duh," said Aqua. "Goddess, remember?"

"Wait, does that mean you also..."

"GODDESS'S DON'T GO TO THE BATHROOM!"

"As I was saying," Kizui cleared her throat. "I can't touch anything related to a god or goddess. Nor can I interact with divine virtues," she glared at Aqua with a glowing eye through a shonen-esque hand gesture. "Holy water is especially deadly,"

"Well, she asked," Aqua shrugged.

"Umm... if you don't mind," Darkness idly fidgeted. "What happens to me in the future?"

"Hang on," Kizui took off her hat. "Can you pass up the photo album, Chomusuke?" she said to it.

A leather-bound book flew out and was caught by her.

"Thanks!" she put her hat back on.

"Is that hat..." Kazuma started to ask.

"Pocket dimension," replied Kizui. "An entire reality contained inside a hat. Sadly, I can only put Chomusuke in it,"

"Seriously? Is that cat immortal or something?" said Kazuma.

"Beats me," said Kizui. She opened up the photo album to a specific page.

"Here!" she showed Darkness a picture of a youthful blond-haired girl with one blue eye and one yellow eye, around Kizui's age. "This is a picture of your daughter! Her name is Grace,"

"Oh," Darkness blushed a little bit. "Erm... who's the father?"

Kizui's eyes shrank.

"Um... I'd rather not say,"

"Okay..." Darkness said as Kizui put the book back in her hat.

"Oh look, we're here," said Aqua.

"Wow, Wiz's store looks so... new!" Kizui walked up and inspected the structure. "No cracked stones, no rotting wood, no parasitic plants, no broken windows, no old bones, no fresh bones, and no bones to begin with!"

"Uh..." Megumin started to think about the bones.

Kizui knocked on the door. "Hello? Your highness? No wait, she's not the queen yet. Um... your... shopkeeper...ness?"

The door opened, revealing, not Wiz, but Vanir.

"My, Kazuma! Megumin! Darkness! Aqua! This other girl!"

"Oh, brother," Aqua and Darkness said simultaneously.

"Vanir?" said Kizui. "Weird, last time I saw you, you had three lines on your mask. Or is it, 'the last time I will see you'?"

"Gah!" Kazuma quickly covered his daughter's mouth. "Uh, don't worry about that, she's the result of a time travel spell gone kind of wrong!" he nervously tried to explain.

"Oh, alright," said Vanir.

"Next time, try not to blab too much about the future," Kazuma whispered in Kizui's ear. She nodded and took his hand away.

"Anyway," said Megumin. "We're looking for a temporal spell so we can fix this mess,"

"Oh, you mean like this one?" Vanir took a nearby scroll off a shelf and handed it to Kizui.

"Yes, exactly!" Kizui said, her left eye lighting up. "Thanks so much! I can't wait to spend more time with you in the future,"

"Don't mention it," Vanir chuckled. While one couldn't see, he winked behind his mask.

Aqua had a look at the scroll.

"Okay, it seems simple enough. Just cast it and you'll be on your way,"

"Great!" said Kizui. She took the scroll. "A-hem,"

Everyone watched as Kizui and Aqua read out the spell. When they finished, a large portal opened up in front of them.

"Woah," said Darkness.

"I adjusted the temporal details, so you can just walk through!" said Aqua.

"Okay," said Kizui. "Bye mom and dad, bye auntie Aqua, bye auntie Lalatina!"

"Hey!"

"Bye Vanir!" Kizui skipped through the portal just as it vanished.

"Huh," said Kazuma. "So that's my kid,"

"Our kid," Megumin snatched his hand quickly.

"Oh yeah..." Kazuma felt a slight blush come over his face. "So... wanna just talk this out instead of awkwardly avoiding each other?"

"Absolutely,"

_A couple of decades later._

Kizui screamed as she face-planted straight into the library floor.

"Oh my gosh, Kizui!" said Grace, who was watching the portal disappear.

"Oh thank heavens, I'm back here," she sighed out of relief. "This is June 1558, right?"

"Yeah. You just left a few seconds ago,"

"Oh, thank the heavens again!" Kizui shook herself out. "You won't believe what happened. I saw our parents!"

"Really?" Grace's eyes widened.

"Yeah! Plus, this is going to nab us both a few more skill points on our report cards!"

"Hey... is that holy magic?" Grace pointed to the glowing sphere of golden energy floating where the portal was.

"Oh yeah. Since Aqua helped me get back, her godly power must've affected the portal... wait a minute."

The golden ball exploded, sending a load of super-hot glowing divine energy onto Kizui.

"AAAAAAAAAAGH!" she screamed, rolling about on the ground. "WHAT IS IT WITH YOUR MOM AND BEING SO SHORT-SIGHTED?"


	3. Author's note

**Update: I have a new story about Kizui! It's called "Another Blessing to this Wonderful World." If you like this story, go check it out!**


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